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File: 1592456135008.jpg (240.66 KB, 758x800, 15823948.jpg) [ IQDB | SauceNAO ]

 No.40374

hey friends
what do you do when a friend confides in you about something really awful they're going through that can't be solved or advised away? like if theyre mourning or have some awful health problem or people are mean to them in a recurring unavoidable situation or something.
i feel like i just rotate through a few shitty cop-out statements like "thats really awful" "im sorry" "i wish there was some way i could help" ":c" "im here for you" etc but obviously thats not right and i feel like i end up pushing them away and not supporting them and idk how to support them and be there for them and stuff.. what am i supposed to do or say?

 No.40375

All you really can do in that situation is offer up your time to listen to them.

 No.40376

File: 1592463117370.jpg (335.4 KB, 2048x1285, __watanabe_you_and_takami_….jpg) [ IQDB | SauceNAO ]

Sometimes being a shoulder to cry on or an listening to them vent is enough. I also like to ask them if they want advice or just want to be distracted. Also check if they're just venting, since sometimes thats cathartic by itself, in which case empty cop-outs are perfectly acceptable!

Also the fact that they're confiding something that difficult with you shows how good of a friend they think you are, so you must be doing something right already~

 No.40379

Hi

I come to this from mostly the other direction, where I'm the one that's usually crying to someone else even though they can't do anything about it. I can only tell you what works and doesn't work for me. But this is also influenced by my own experience on the receiving end too.

I don't like it when it feels like my fren is just repeating their lines or saying it like they're on autopilot. It makes their words feel insincere or like it's just a knee jerk response without really paying attention.

I like it best when they say a few words, mainly to just to let me know they're still there while I'm decompressing. Once the worst of it is over and I've quieted, I like if they politely ask a few pointed questions that help me think about the issue more critically, it helps to mentally digest things.

Give them your attention, you have theirs.
Give them your time, let them grow in their own time in return.
Be polite and patient.

None of this means you have to say much at all, if what you're saying feels hollow to you, it will feel hollow to them too. Sometimes it can be nice to know that someone is there with you, so just sitting online quietly together once things have slowed can be sufficient (as long as you mention that to them first).

And always make sure you tell them that they're your fren. (very important part)

I hope that helps.

sorry for my talk.

bye bye nenpo!

 No.40425

thanks friends, i appreciate the advice<3



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